I was doing my regular email checkups when I clicked on a link that directed me to a blog ranting about her cheating boyfriend. She was completely mortified that her boyfriend is willing to cheat with her own best friend and have the cheek to say that it didn't mean anything. She could not understand the moral values of her boyfriend and why men would think with their balls instead of their brains. So there she was ranting, cursing and wishing the end of the world for her boyfriend yet she did not touch one thing about herself or the partner-in-crime to this cheating drama ; her own best friend.
The other day, I was watching a re-run of Oprah on Hallmark and they were talking about cheating men. The invited guest was a man who deals with men and their issues.
So, my conclusion after watching the show was to strengthen my initial perception already. Women are basically the reason men cheats. Women. Obviously I am a woman but I am not going to back up my fellow females in this matter. Of course there are two sides of a story. Sometimes three, four or infinite sides to a story. But I think I'll talk about a few only...
- When a man and a woman get caught in an affair and somebody cheats, we first and fore-mostly will look at the guy and blame him. Why in heaven's name can't he keep his willy in his pants? What is so good about all this "extra" carnal act? Don't they feel remorse for cheating behind their partner's back? Now take this into consideration :
- Yes, when it comes to the opposite sex, men usually tend to throw their technicality and logic and think with their penis. Especially if the devil looks like Angelina Jolie with 38 25 36 stats. Their brains will fall from their skulls to their scrotum in less than half a second. But so what? It's in their nature. How many studies have shown that men think of sex 3/4 times more than women in a day? Some studies shows that men think of sex every 10 minutes. But does that mean they get the act done each time they think it? If they do then maybe they should buddy up with Tiger Woods and go into rehab too. Plus, it takes two to tango. And just thinking of sex is like doing the robot dance to a Mozart concerto piece.
- Men cheats with women who are willing to cheat with them.
- If there's no cheap women on the planet who can easily fall into a man's embrace (or bed) without him having to spend his time, money and resources on you, then how can we blame men for getting it in, off and out easily? When a man cheat with you and you get caught, you cry and say that you never intended to hurt his partner, you were caught up in the game or his charms or whatever. Now, aren't you cheap sistah? I don't understand how women can still cheat with a man when they already know he's with someone. So maybe he's all that you ever dreamed off in a man but have you ever thought that maybe he's also the man of his wife's dreams and that's why they're married? It's just too bad you found him too late.
- Example : There's a very good piece of veal in the market and it is put on display at dawn for sale. Person A woke up early, wash up, went to the market, saw the veal and earned it to buy the good piece. Person B woke up at noon, lazily wash face, went to the market, saw Person A already carrying the good piece and suddenly went to Person A, punch Person A in the belly and steal the veal. Person A = Angel. Person B = Bloody Bitch.
- For women like me though, someone who have found the perfect man but also knows that if I can fall for his characteristics then there would be other women out there who could also find his character appealing, what should I do? Are we safe? There are many psychotic women nowadays who don't mind stealing a man even though he's married or with kids just so that she can enjoy the benefits of being his wife. And there are cases too (which sad to say) happens within the modern Malay society who still practices creepy voodoo and hocus pocus just so that they can get what they want. And I'm not making this up. It happened to me. The question is, why? If it's not meant for you then why not just move on and find someone else?
- A man loves it when the woman he's with remembers the three things that makes him a man. Call it ego, call it nature but a man need that to feel complete. So their woman should never look down on them on these three things : who he is, what he does and how much he makes.
- I know women are as successful as men nowadays, if not better, but that does not mean we can boast our success to everybody including our husbands. You can boast to your school friends, your colleagues, your family, your relatives but draw the line somewhere with your husband. Even if he makes lesser than you, he'd like very much to know that he's the "man". Even if everybody else knows you're the more successful but the male instinct is also sensitive and needs to be cushioned once a while. When their own wives fail to do that, that's when they start finding "comfort" somewhere else. A place where he don't have to care for the woman as a wife but enjoy the wifely benefits - the care, the respect and most of all the throne.
- Prevention is better than cure. They say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" right? So why not care for yourself, not just so that you won't visit the doctor's office but also so that your man don't go running to some other well-maintained woman.
- Women, especially those who have been married for more than 5 years tend to forget one of the reasons their husbands married them. I'm not saying that physical is the top reason as to why the man married you. If he does than he's a shallow idiot and you're better off without him. However, it does not hurt if you care for yourself, your skin, your figure just the way he likes it. Make him remember what is it that made him fall in love with you in the first place. People always say first impression says it all and usually the physical is the first point of decision-making. No, you don't have to get Botox to retain your youth but care for yourself and your health. If he can carry you to the bedroom on your wedding night then try to maintain that so that he can still carry you after 30 years of marriage.
Alright, alright, I'm not saying I'm a marriage counselor. But this is just logic. The technicalities may differ slightly for different individuals but the fact of the matter is, we are all humans and born with similar instincts and ideals. Every day is a learning process. So women, learn about your men! Don't take things easy. Because you certainly do not want to cry over spilled milk.
P/S : This does not mean that men should not be blamed. If affairs ever happen, it's also because men could not avoid temptation. If the zipper is the only thing that's stopping you from having that affair and you don't think you can trust yourself, go get a chastity belt!
