Letting Go

Photo courtesy of Google.

Staring into the pieces of my broken heart,

I tried to piece them together but they keep falling apart,

I did not collect myself quick enough, I couldn't care less,

The cold crept in quickly, within me it infests,

I was lost, a soul afloat without it's carrier,

Now whimpering in a corner, shivering like a lost terrier,

Drenched in cold sweat, crying 'till the hiccups came,

There is no glory in this, only a burning dull pain,

No more fake smiles that can cover up these cloudy eyes,

I could no longer pretend, the spirit within me slowly dies,

Drifted into the dark cold night from your once strong grasp,

I succumbed to this heartache, I'm flatten like a wasp,

No wings to carry me to the Heavens,

I couldn't find the first cloud nor the seventh,

Then a Mighty voice from up above startled me out of my stupor,

"Collect yourself. Stop crying him a river,"

"He is not worth your tears after all the pain he's caused."

Before I took the plunge, the voice made me pause.

I fell on my knees crying with tremendous fervor,

My faith came to me the last minute, my old friend, my life saver,

I kneeled for a long moment when realization suddenly struck,

We had sacrificed for each other so much but maybe this is just tough luck,

So I praised God for giving me a sign one last time,

For giving me a chance of redemption, a message so sublime,

I looked at his picture in my hand, I kissed it again like I always do,

I suppressed the pain, the sorrow and the bursting love within - if he only knew,

Then I made a vow to little 'ol me,

If it is written by God in the Heavens, if it was really meant to be,

Then one day it will happen, when our lives will be aglow,

We will not be in this same position then, we'll be away from this plateau,

But now there's only one way for this feelings of mine to flow,

It will go down below, I am letting him go.

I am letting him go...

© www.enveeus.com

KTM introduced it's pink women-only coach on 28th April 2010

The normal Komuter. Photo courtesy of Google.

So, what do I think of the idea? Well, it's commendable to say the least. For someone who have experienced being sexually harassed in the Komuter train first-hand, this is probably one small way to try to protect women from experiencing what I had. What? Don't believe I was harassed? 

When I was back in college, I commute from Kajang to my college in PJ everyday. The people in the LRT from KL Sentral to Asia Jaya was not as packed or as horrible as the people in the KTM Komuter. Every morning, by 6.15am I have to be at the Komuter station or I will definitely be late for my 8am class. This is because (if you used the Komuter before, you'll know) sometimes the Komuter do not arrive at its stipulated time. So when its late, the crowd grows and when it arrives, everybody squeezes themselves in, trying to shrink a size if possible. When there's too many people around, you're bound to bump into a pervert or two who'd pinch your bum or slide their hands up and down your ass. A few times I managed to step on their foot with enough force to make them howl. 

But there was one time, when I was on my way to class, I managed to get a sit and sat next to an older man and I was too tired from burning the midnight oil that I didn't realize I dozed off. It may be just a few seconds or a few minutes after I nodded off that I felt somebody's elbow started pushing against the side of my breast a few times. I opened my eyes slowly and realized the man beside me was acting like he's asleep yet he's pushing quite strongly again and again at my breast. So what did I do? I jumped up and swung my bag at his head. Of course I did manage to let out some profanities in between and a few Malay guys on board took notice and started coming to my aid. The man was too embarrassed to defend himself. He kept on apologizing to me and when the train stopped at the next station, he got off.

So, do I think a women-only coach could help? Well, I think it can help reduce the number of girls who might experience the same thing as me. I know a large number of girls who are too afraid or ashamed to do anything when they are sexually harassed in public that the only thing they would do is get up and go somewhere else. Malay girls especially, they are just too shy to open their mouths. I do hope though that this is not just some short-term gimmick on KTM's part to cover up their weaknesses such as the very problematic schedule that never seem to be solved and coaches that are too old and seats that are too ruined but still being used. I think an improvement in the services by the KTM Komuter, an upgrade from some of the almost-falling-apart coaches and higher security could also reduce these unwanted problems such as sexual harassment from arising. 

I hope this newly introduced service from KTM is not just a half-baked idea that will be forgotten and left behind after 6 months or a year from now. Still, I appreciate the effort they've done. Now, we'll just have to wait and see if it's all worth it.

Read the news here.

P/S: I still haven't try this coach yet. They're only available for the Sentul-Pelabuhan Klang route. If they have for the Seremban-Rawang route, maybe I'll give it a try. So I suggest that KTM should also prepare for the Seremban-Rawang route too. Surely there are a large sum of women from this part of town that could use some safety precaution as well.

Kelly Clarkson ALL I EVER WANTED TOUR Live In Malaysia 2010 | Part 2

Stadium Bukit Jalil

What an awesomesauce concert!

Luckily my ears are fine now. I was afraid I would stay deaf permanently. Coz the fans are super duper loud! I don't have the lungs or the vocal chords to reach such deafening proportion. LOL! I was a little more laid-back at the concert. I do feel a little old now compared to my concert-going time few years ago. Oh, and there were kids as young as 7 years old at the concert, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs. Wow.. My first concert was when I was 14!

So, I arrived at Bukit Jalil around 6pm from Berjaya Times Square where I picked up my ticket from a friend. I hang out for a drink first before walking to the stadium around 7.30pm. I entered the stadium around 7.40pm and heard Natalie from Hitz.fm's voice talking about the sponsors and how proud she is with the concert-goers. Went to my seat, which is at COMP C (ticket worth RM288) Block 114. Every seat have a Sembonia goody bag waiting.

RM288 left section

Jaclyn Victor

I was twittering as Natalie threw posters to the crowd (she can't throw so far.. LOL!) when an Arabic guy came next to me, ask if he can take photo with me, snapped a photo and then left for his seat at God knows where. I was left a little perplexed. LOL! Weird maximum. Then, as I continue twittering and replying text messages on my phone, Jaclyn Victor came out to sing a medley of short Malay songs from the 80's, 90's and present. Although I am not a very big fan, but I do agree she has got some strong vocals. So, I enjoyed it and even sang along to some of the songs like "Isabella" (eeei that's me!), "Janji Manismu", "Rahsia Pohon Cemara" and many more. I grew up to those songs, duh!

After about 15 minutes of continued singing, Natalie came out to introduce another opening act, Suki. I have no idea who she is. She's cute, I grant you that but the too-big, too-red wedding dress cum layered cake dress is a little too much for such a concert I think. She just sang one Malay song, which I can't quite make out some of the words before leaving us in anticipation for Kelly Clarkson.

Oh, that's Kelly Clarkson's car y'all. Coming into the stadium at the very last minute. Such an entrance!

I wish I had a better camera! 

When she came out and started singing, everybody can't seem to stop screaming. The girls at my back were loud, I tell you. The people at my row wasn't, sadly, coz most of them are probably reaching 40 years old! Including the fella sitting on my left who stole my Sembonia goody-bag. Blardiful old man!

The Miss Independent did not disappoint her fans. She was very energetic all throughout. Of course, not all of her songs are the jump-out-of-your-seat type but the ballads are nice too, lets you relax a little and collect your energy again for the next upbeat song. She sang most of her hits such as All I Ever Wanted, Miss Independent, Breakaway, Never Again, Behind These Hazel Eyes, Walk Away, Addicted, Gone and then she also coaxed the crowd to join her on her latest song I Want You, dividing the crowd into two parts and having us sing together. There were medleys too like the one I posted on my Part 1 blog post. She also covers songs by Kylie Minogue "Can't Get You Outta My Head", The Black Keys "Lies" and The White Stripes "Seven Nation Army". 

Then there's the awesome band and backup singers, the flashmob who sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her which she acknowledged, thanked and replied, "I made it, I'm 28," before saying how grateful she is to celebrate it in Malaysia. Already Gone was not the last song of the day but I already saw the same van appearing and parking next to the stage so I bet there's going to be one last song before it's done, which it turns out, I was right. After she finished with the song Without You, she picked up her shoes (she was barefoot by then), ran backstage and the van was off. Everybody was already out of their seats but everyone managed to turn to the van and wave goodbye to Kelly. Yup, she's got amazing fans here.

The management did not allow video recording. They come up with their torchlights to you and tell you "No Recording" in that monotonous voice. It sucks coz what's a good concert if you can't record at least a song or two to remember by, right? Oh, but the last one, I did record coz everybody was already so hot and sweaty they just had to get out of their seats and jump. LOL!

 

So, did I enjoy the concert? My retired concert-going body was too hot and a little dizzy but what I can say is, the excitement, the anticipation and the warm welcome Malaysia gave Kelly Clarkson is a one exceptional experience!

Kelly Clarkson Concert in Bukit Jalil April 25, 2010 | Part 1

Alright, I promised B-bunz I am going to sleep straight away so I cannot write too much on the concert I just attended a few hours ago. But let's just say, right now I am quite deaf. LOL! I will leave you guys with an audio on one of the songs (medley) sang by Miss Kelly Clarkson herself. Full report of the concert shall be done tomorrow, promise.

So, enjoy guys!

To download the Medley in MP3 format, go here.

P/S : I just tried this website edublogs.tv to upload all my audios. I like this website. This is a good one.

Extraordinary circumstances

Photo courtesy of Google.

Have you ever been at your lowest point and suddenly everybody you had been running from (your past) found you at exactly the same time? Like, BOOM! They gotcha in the middle of the street and is not letting you out of their sight. Would it spook you out if this happens to you? Or would you take it as a sign? Maybe God is opening the door you had padlocked so long ago because somebody you trusted in the same house had betrayed you silently. Maybe this is a way for God to give happiness to you back or maybe this is the devil's game to sink you deeper into the dark abyss you're already in at the moment.

It's funny, come to think of it, all these men suddenly being chivalrous and acting as if I had mattered so much in their lives. If I did, why now? I don't like fate playing with me this way, and I also don't want other people to play with my fate. If this is not God's doing, if this is just a test, (a "cobaan") for me, then I pray that all these men and their hidden agendas would just leave me alone. It will not bring any good to me and my relationship. I want something wonderful, something magical, something unbelievable. Something like this is definitely not in the list.

It's like being hit by a bus. I didn't expect it and when it came, it was not just the small "bas mini" but the big double-decker Exclusive Coach bus. It hit me smack in the front and left me dazed for a while. When I asked for a sign from God, when I prayed to show me if my loyalty was misused, this is not what I imagined it would be. And having all these people from my past at the same time I am being "stalked" by psychos give very little help to my already unstable emotions. Sometimes I just feel like running away. Few years ago I chose to stay here instead of going to America for love, now I hope I can leave here to find a much sought-after peace, and have B-bunz with me if possible.

I can't write too much in detail, which leaves me extremely annoyed because there are people who are keeping tabs on my updates and life. I always wished to live a normal life, but maybe I have never been "normal" to begin with. B-bunz and I are exceptional people, I had tried to deny it for as long as I could, but now I think it's folly to do that. So, I accept it, B-bunz and I comes from extraordinary circumstances and we shall live our lives extraordinarily too.

*Forgive me if it is hard to understand what I write about. 

My GATSBY Deodorant Street Fair Experience

Yeah, yeah, I know this is a little late since the event was last Saturday but in between attending the course I'm taking at the moment in Setiawangsa and the time commuting back and forth in the weekdays, I was often too tired to write and can only be found spread eagle on my bed by 10pm every night. Luckily this is a 10-day gig or I'm going to die of exhaustion.

Anyway, back to the event. This event was held on 17th April at Berjaya Times Square. I was one of the first round bloggers to be invited to the event. (There are a few rounds, I have to stress that, LOL!) At first I planned to go to both the Gatsby event that I wrote about before and then quickly rush to Laundry Bar, The Curve for the CLEO Bachelor speed date but decided last minute to cancel that. Yeah, no speed date with the bachelors for me. I'm a loyal girlfriend. 

I reached Times Square a little late than the stipulated time. LOL! But I was still able to register and they gave me the goody bag, notified to change into the Gatsby T-Shirt. However, I was unable to change into it because just a few minutes after that, the VIP's arrived and, well, a good blogger don't pass up the opportunity to take photos okay. So there I was, with my black shirt, pushing into the crowd (and the security) to get a little closer to stage. I wasn't at the other side with the rest of the hundreds of bloggers. I was at the media side, actually. Do you think I look like a media rep? 

So, it's official. The event will be included into the Malaysian Book Of Records as the LARGEST blogger gathering in Malaysia with up to 518 (and counting!) bloggers attending at the time it is announced - and I bet I was the 517th blogger who made it in time to register, LOL! It was utter fun, with so many friendly bloggers around, most of them are a bunch of good sports, playing the games at the fair, getting coupons for games that are played and then being able to redeem the coupons with gifts from Gatsby. Not to mention that there were lucky draws too - though I was not around when the lucky draws were done because I was too hungry and I had to get something at Subway. Oh, it had been quite a while since I had Subway...

What do I think of being a part of a huge event like this? Exciting! Hope to participate more Nuffnang events in the future!

Oh, as I write this, the RM50 incentive for attending the event is already in my Nuffnang account. So, THANK YOU Nuffnang!

Al-Fatihah for Achik Spin

I have just read this news on my personal FB. I was very surprised to find out about this. My mom liked Achik Spin. This is sad. It haven't been a month since another young artist Yanie (Mentor) passed away at the age of 23 on 21st March 2010, today the country again has lost another young artist, father and friend.

Photo Courtesy of Google.

Abdillah Murad Md. Shari, or better known as Achik is the vocalist of the group Spin. The 28 year-old vocalist was involved in a tragic accident today nearby KM 14 in the Kajang-Seremban Highway late this evening. The vehicle that Achik was in (MPV) skidded, couldn't be controlled and burst into flames, resulting to an immediate death of the singer. It is unknown at this moment if there were any passengers in the vehicle or if he was by himself. It has just been informed that firemen and police officers are still at the scene to insist with traffic and transportation of the deceased to Tuanku Jaafar Hospital tonight. ASP Abd. Halil Abd. Hamzah has clarified the incident. - Translated by me from a recent news in Utusan.

So, this is a call to all Muslims and Achik's fans around, let's pray that his soul can rest and hope his family will be able to find peace soon from this sad news. Al-Fatihah!

*Update : Some photos of the vehicle at the scene

Photos courtesy of ondscene. Click link for more photos.

Video of the incident is found at Pyan Bunjut.

It is notified that the passenger of the vehicle, a friend of Achik's was saved but is in critical condition at the moment.

Favourite Childhood Movie

I have a few favourites, come to think of it. But this one, I suddenly had the urge to take the DVD and put in the player today after a long long day commuting and class from 9am to 5.30pm. Granted there were breaks in between (thank goodness!) my head was about to slam my table halfway through the day. The best part though, I get to sit at the big table by myself while everybody else have partners. I love my space. LOL!

Ever watched this movie before? No wait, let me rephrase - ever even heard of this movie before? Oh my my.. This was one of my favourite childhood movies, after the movie Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind. So, come watch my favourite part in this movie "LABYRINTH".

I am so IN LOVE with this movie. I used to imagine I was Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) and I will always recite the magic words : 

Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered,

I have fought my way here, to the castle beyond the Goblin City,

My will is as strong as yours and my kingdom is great...

You have no power over me...

Who would've known that back then I thought the gothic-looking-goblin-king David Bowie is just too awesome. Way awesome than the sparkly Edward Cullen. It doesn't help that I see him in his tights throughout the movie at the age of 3. Yes, the movie was out in 1986 and my dad actually bought the VHS tape back then. I was so in love with it I kept playing it over and over again. LOL! I especially love the masquerade ball. There's just something about masquerades that makes me go "Ahhhhhhh.." 

Isn't he an adorable worm? 

Now seriously, anybody who never watch this movie before, you better go find the DVD. It's classic I tell you! It was directed by Jim Henson and the music are mostly created by David Bowie himself. 

 My friend - Hoggle

Wanna know what's my favourite line from Jareth The Goblin King (David Bowie)? When he says, "I ask for so little. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want." Why I like it? Coz he ask the girl to let him rule her. That's like so incredibly sexy. LOL!

 Jareth - Goblin King

So go go! Go to the DVD store and find this movie! I guarantee you won't regret it!

Saturday Morning Laughs

I know I haven't been myself much and a little too "down" this past few weeks. Haven't been able to find my mojo. I don't know where I misplace it. Need to collect it as soon as possible. Maybe I should go look for it at the "Lost and Found" section? LOL! I have no appetite this past week. I lost a lot of weight, I know I'm not my usual self but what should I do?? Argh! But it's okay, I'm trying to be a little cheery today (and trying not to be too conscious of my panda eyes. HAHA) so here's a little something for us to laugh at :

Is there a moral to this story?

Do I have to cook up something for your interests?

Heh. Alright. Maybe it's just plain simple. If you want something (especially if you're a man), make sure you be specific on what you want (especially if you're asking from a woman). Don't beat around the bush. Men and Women speak different languages. If you're not direct and the opposite sex does not understand you, you only have yourself to blame. It won't help anybody, least of all, yourself.

So, was that idea bankable? No? Let's see. What else can I come up with based on the picture above? Hmm.. Maybe if you're born with a small dick, then instead of wishing for it to be big, just learn to use it well? That's a direct one. LOL!!

But I think the best would be - just be happy of what we have. If we love ourself and is happy and proud what God gave us, then we'll be sending all the positive energy to our surrounding and everybody else will also be happy and proud of us. So, love yourself and others will follow suit.

Reminder to myself...

Just got back from Darussyifa' in Bangi. Anybody who knows this place will know what it's for. And anyone who needs to go there or looking for any details, please visit here.

The first time I went there was last week and I felt a lot better since then but just thought of going there again this week to see if everything's improved. Luckily, it has and I don't feel as much pain as last week, just a little bit and there are some Surah's that are given to me to read to make me feel safe. I admit, I'm not a very pious person. So having the Ustaz helping me out in that section leaves me very grateful indeed.

The Ustaz is very friendly. He's also a good listener. I informed him of my dream though he wouldn't interpret it for me but he explains that the final part of the dream means it's not bad and no harm will come to me. I informed him of what's been going in my life and my relationship. He asked my age and my partner's age before giving me a very good piece of advice : 

"Carilah seorang lelaki yang mencintai kamu, jangan mencari lelaki yang kamu cintai. Biar dia cintai kamu dulu, biar dia yang cari kamu dulu, biar bila sesuatu perkara buruk berlaku atau orang lain mengganggu tidak kira cara kasar ataupun halus, dia akan berusaha mencari penyelesaian atau penawar supaya dia boleh bersama dengan kamu. Carilah seorang lelaki yang berusaha untuk bersama dengan kamu walau dalam keadaan apa pun. Bukan sebaliknya."

He cited examples on relationships where the women is the one who loved the man too much. He cited examples on relationships that hurt the women unbearably due to that. His name is Ustaz Razali. He's a very nice man. However, not everybody with this name is nice (inside knowledge).

I'm not writing this to hurt anybody. This is only a reminder to me. What he said is true and I hope that one day, no matter what had happened in the past, someone who loves me would strive to fix himself up and find the cure to the envy and hate that others have for us. We cannot run from envious people from time to time, especially if we are successful in what we do and when we have a great relationship. There will always be times when this person or another is jealous of what we have and try every way possible (physical or spiritual) to hurt us. But if we really want each other, then we will work hard to be with each other. People can try many things and ways to break us up, but in the end, it only depends on us and how strong our will and resolution to fight them off. 

My recent decision was made because I don't think I am such a bad person. I think I have enough class and grace to forgive someone, in hope that the future will not be too hard for me. I had lived for many years being envied and sometimes misunderstood by my peers. Sometimes I wonder why although I am just a simple loner who prefers to be by myself and not mix with them who loves gossiping and doing mundane things. I did not choose to be in this position or being envied and misunderstood for no reason, but because I am thrown into this situation, all this had made me stronger. I wish that I will always have my strong support too. The pillar that I sometimes lean on. The same pillar that will shield me from harm just as I will shield it from harm too. I hope it is not all for nothing. Everybody make mistakes but once they realized their mistakes and they change for the better, it should not be look down upon. 

Change is not an easy thing. But someone who does change, that person deserves a standing ovation.

Do cigarettes REALLY contain pig's blood?

Photo courtesy of Google.

Apparently YES.

According to a new study, cigarettes may contain pig's blood. The Australian academic says with a warning that religious groups, both Muslims and Jews might find this undisclosed presence "very offensive".

This news, which had been circulating worldwide since March 30th is starting to raise concerns in devout Muslims and Jews. Religious texts at the core of both these religions specifically bans the consumption of pork in whatever form. And if the recent research done by the Dutch researchers is confirmed to be true, then this is a very surprising and very disturbing revelation indeed.

Professor Simon Chapman, the Professor of Public Health in University of Sydney informed that Dutch researchers have found 185 different industrial uses of a pig - including the use of its haemoglobin (red blood cell) in cigarette filters. While the filters are made of a fine material called acetylated cellulose, extracted from crepe paper, the use of the pig's haemoglobin is said to be more effective at trapping harmful chemicals before they can enter a smoker's lungs. (Really?)

Now to add to that disturbing fact, tobacco companies had never practiced on sharing the ingredients they put in the cigarettes. They call it their "trade secret". While tobacco companies had moved voluntary list of the contents of their products on their websites, they also noted undisclosed "processing aids...that are not significantly present in, and do not functionally affect the finished product." Now according the Professor Chapman, this catch-all term hid from public view an array of chemical and other substances used in the making of tobacco products.

There's at least one cigarette brand sold in Greece which was confirmed of using pig haemoglobin in its processes. However the status of smokes sold is unknown.

Either you're of Islamic or Jewish faith, I'm sure you would want to know which brands of cigarette that uses this sort of products in their tobaccos. In the world, many Islamic fatwas had been released to state that smoking is Haraam because it will lead to death and in Islam, it is written in a Quranic verse that prohibits Muslims to cause harm on themselves or undertaking actions that might lead to their death (Surah Al-Baqarah, verse-195). 

Here I would like to include 10 reasons why smoking is Haraam in Islam:

1. Cigarette affects the mind (mental).

2. Cigarette endangers physical health.

3. Cigarette threatens self safety and the safety of another person.

4. Cigarette endangers future descendant (physically or mentally).

5. Cigarette smokers are often addicted to it.

6. Cigarette may cause bad behaviour.

7. Cigarette smoking is a waste of resources.

8. Cigarette is conflicting with the Islamic integrity.

9. Cigarette is a waste of money.

10.Cigarette contains harmful substances.

So to Muslims and Jews who had been smokers, this will be the time to try to stop. If you can't do it immediately for fear of getting into cardiac arrest, do it slowly but firmly. Or better still, use nicotine patch or take nicotine gum. If that don't work, go for hypnosis to stop the habit. If that doesn't work too, find something much nicer to suck on hmm?

Clash Of The Titans 2010

So, is this going to be a movie review kinda post? Hmm.. Should I make a movie review?

Anyway, my family of 5 went to 1 Utama last Wednesday to catch the movie Clash Of The Titans premier. I won a few premier tickets and decided to give those tickets to my brothers while my parents were planning to just walk around and do some shopping or dinner. We arrived a little late, what with doing our Maghrib prayers at home first before leaving for 1 Utama which was about 40 minutes from home. We used the PJ Bulatan Othman road instead of Kelana Jaya. We didn't know of any other way from Kajang to 1 Utama. If there is any easier roads, please do inform me.

Once we arrived and I took the tickets - which also happens to be the last pair, we saw my brothers off into the cinema. My dad was joking that my mom was behaving as if we're sending off my brothers overseas or something. My mom is very protective of her children although I have complained a few times that it does feel a little smothering. LOL!

After we left GSC, my dad decided he also want to watch the movie so we bought tickets at TGV instead. LOL! My dad can be quite spontaneous at times. Right after, he said he was hungry and we started looking for food but all the shops was starting to close and so we ended having some sandwiches instead. We hang out at the benches below the TGV floor (thank you benches!) until it was time for the movie to start. We quickly went in although TGV weren't as packed as GSC and waited for the movie to begin.

I know the movie is a high-budgeted movie and the CG is supposed to put you at awe but if I were to describe the movie in one word, I would say it's "horrible". Have anybody done any research for this movie? Does anybody know about Greek mythology? Anybody ever watched the classic version of Clash Of The Titans? The original movie made in 1981?

I know if you compare the movie made in 1981 and this one, the graphics are opposite of each other. But at least the classic movie don't jumble up the facts, no matter if it's a mythology or not.What am I talking about? Simple. Read this and you'll see how much they divert from the real movie. At least the movie in 1981 was closer to the original myth compared to the latest movie.

Furthermore, Sam Worthington acting as the son who refuses his father's gift was close to make me puke of boredom before he would even pick up that damn sword. And Io? Who the hell is Io? What is she doing in this movie? I have never come across an Io in stories connected to Perseus. And then there's the brave soldiers. I pity them. They haven't been able to leave an impact on viewers or allow us some decent time to tell them apart (it's real hard to tell guys who wears skirts apart ok) before they're all dead. Oh and yes, when was it in Greek mythology have there ever been djinns? Do they even know what djinns are? And why do they have to dress up this bluish mechanical looking djinn in Arabic costume and make him blow himself up? Is the director trying to insinuate something here? And why did this djinn with the few words blow himself up for nothing without leaving any scratch on Medusa? I was also wondering why is this Medusa so pretty? I would like to have snakes on my head too (and save me from buying expensive shampoos to care for my split ends) if I could look as pretty as Medusa. Come on people, Medusa is supposed to look ugly. Like SUPER DUPER ugly. She was pretty when she was human but once she was cursed, she was super duper ugly!

So, was I happy with the movie? I was lucky it only costs RM9 per ticket. I think it's so bad and is so different from the mythology that it might confuse people from the true myth and make the true Greek myth and history lovers angry for such a mix-up. 

My final comment? They should not put in the djinns. At all cost.

Movie rate : 5/10

A Decade Ago from Today...

Was the last time I saw my late grandmother. 

She was my mother's mother. I was so close to her but when I found out she had Alzheimer's, I started to distant myself from her. I don't know why I did that. I was only 16 years old when I heard of the disease and I couldn't bear the thought of her dying. When I think about it now, I think it was my way of trying to handle the inevitable. When I found out she had Alzheimer's, I knew it was just a matter of time before she starts forgetting us, forgets herself and eventually leave us forever. 

I can still remember how she passed away. It was on a Sunday, in the morning and it was at my aunt's home. My grandmother's youngest sister came all the way from Johor with her husband and her other cousins. My grandmother was very close to this sister. By then, it had been a few months since my grandmother was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She had completely forgotten our names and her own. She hardly speaks. She will only smile and look straight up into the distance. Most of the time, she would look up and then she would smile. In our hearts, we just knew, her time is coming close.

That morning, after my aunt's housemaid who is also my grandmother's caretaker showered her and put on fresh clothes for her, her sister and family members sat near her and tried quite helplessly to talk to her. Her sister told her many times that she loves my grandmother and my grandmother would sometimes smile. At the same time, the caretaker already prepared breakfast for my grandmother - porridge - and was about to feed her when I heard a commotion. I was in my aunt's room when I heard somebody yelling at the living hall. I went out and I saw my aunt was already lying next to my grandmother, she was crying and holding my grandmother's left hand in hers. My grandmother's sister was reciting the Syahadah at her right ear and she crying as well. I looked at my grandmother and that's when I noticed something peculiar. She was looking up, she was smiling and I saw her breath travel from her stomach, her chest, her throat and then in just a minute, she was gone.

I remembered floating through the whole process of having the neighbors come by, listening to them recite the Yassin and seeing my grandmother being wrapped in white cloth. And the thing I remembered most was when our family members took turn to kiss her forehead one last time before bringing her to the graveyard. Her face looked so serene, as if she was only asleep and dreaming a beautiful dream. Her skin looked so soft and it was soft to the touch too although she was already 67 years old. And there was a tiny smile on her lips. A small sweet smile.

It was raining when the men started the Solat Jenazah. It rained so heavily even though before that the sun was shining so brightly. It continued to rain heavily when they brought her to the graveyard. But once the Talkin was read, the rain slowly stopped and the sun shone brightly again. 

A few ustaz and ulama's said that that was a sign. How can she look so serene and smile when she have already passed away? Why did the rain pour so heavily before she was brought to the graveyard? It was a sign for those who still lives and who was there to witness it - my grandmother was a great woman, a wonderful mother and grandmother and a very sweet teacher. She used to teach children and adults alike to recite the Quran properly. She never raised her voice or her hand, not even to pinch a naughty child like me. She was always there to hold me in her arms when I'm sad, always there to defend me against my mom, always there to protect me when I feel the world was against me. She gave me hope. She taught me that I am worth more than what others are telling me.

When she passed away, I was about to turn 17. My decision to detach myself from her back then once her memory started to fade was so that I could protect myself from heartbreak. Instead, my heart was still broken because since the day she passed away until now, I can't stop regretting my decision. I wished I had been there for her all the time. I wished I was there next to her, from the day she could still remember my name until the day she would only smile whenever she sees anybody. I wish I was the one who bathe her and wash her just the way she did for me when I was a child. I wish, and I wish wholeheartedly, that I could see her smile again. That sweet, sweet smile.

She may be gone for 10 years but she lives in my heart, always.