June 04, 2010

Question Of The Day #1 June | Matters of the heart



Alright. Here's the scenario. Let's say, you're in love with your partner and you are totally into him/her, heart and soul and follows through all the promises you made to him/her. You also listen to whatever request they have of you, you turned your world upside down for them because you believe he/she is the one.

Then one day, you found out the truth - your partner pulled a Tiger Woods stunt on you.

Of course, I understand the feelings going through you when you found out. First your heart beats fast, then your breath goes shallow, then you feel bile rising in your throat and then you puke the entire day's contents of your stomach out. Some people will cry while other don't. But everyone, even the strongest of all, would have the same question in mind - WHY?

But then, how do you go through the next painful and heart-wrenching couple of weeks? Do you -----?

A. Cry your eyes out until there are no tears anymore and then woke up one day and realize you don't love him/her anymore? (This is a really long process, the longest of all).
B. Stab him/her with a fork or a pen (since they say pen is sharper than sword.. LOL!) or just knock his/her head with either the frying pan or the dirty old broom at the back of the cupboard.
C. Trash him/her on the internet, print hundreds of flyers of their infidelity, distribute to where they live, work and people they know. Hell, if you have proof, just upload it on YouTube and make the whole wide world know (and risk being sued after that).
D. Get him/her back at his/her own game. If you're a guy, go spread your "love seeds". If you're a girl, get some hot guys, use them till they can't walk.
E. Forgive and forget. Your love is too pure, too true, too honest for you to ever harm this person you did everything for. Just remember this - "To forgive is human, to forget is divine" but once you could do both, a sense of relief and beauty will wash over you.

Now let's see. If I was thrown into this position, what would I do? 

Would I opt for A? Maybe I would. I was told by someone that I am weak. Physically, that is. But my heart is strong. I know if I was strong enough to change my whole world for a man I love, I can probably forget him as well. But then again, can I really? Love is a funny thing, it tugs at your heart and change you. Pieces of you gets chipped off when you fall in love and then you shave off some more pieces of yourself to fit the other person. But when the other person betrays you in the most carnal way possible, you feel lost. Because now you're no longer the same shape as before. And yes, I would puke too.

Would I opt for B? If I was once that snobbish cynical girl (wait, was I ever one?) then maybe I can make myself pick up the frying pan and knock his head - ONCE. I certainly will not pull a Lorena Bobbit stunt though. That's like mad EXTREME. I mean, if all this while I had loved him, shared everything with him, even the same bed, can I really chop his penis off? Maybe not. But can I slap him with a spoon to put some sense in his head? Quite possible. LOL!

Would I opt for C? OK, not only the idea of being sued does not appeal to me, but the whole thing about thrashing somebody on the internet and spreading flyers is just too juvenile in my opinion. Maybe if I was 14 years old and my first boyfriend dumped me for the captain of the cheerleader then I might resort to something like this (big MAYBE) but my personality just forbids me to do something this low. If I shame him, then I would be shaming myself. Yes, he betrayed me, but should I betray the love I had for him all this time? I think I'm worth more than that.

Would I opt for D? This would be the farthest thing on my mind. Like forever. A friend of mine who is a little crazy once told me that if my man ever betray me then I should hook up with some hot guy just so that I can forget my boyfriend instantly. But does it really work like that? Or, would it backfire and make me feel like a cheap slut when morning comes? This is not a good method. I know I'll end up crying (and barf again!) once it's done.

Would I opt for E? I think I had, did, always will. I know sometimes I put up a bad girl face just so that people will think I'm some spoiled little princess and they won't come near me but deep down, I know, even if the man I love so dearly does something like this to me, I cannot do anything else but forgive him. God, for so much love that I nurtured, built and gave to him all these years, is it so hard to forgive him? But I must know the reason he did it first. And then I will forgive him. Will I forget what happened? Maybe I will ask a lot of questions first. I will have to know everything, he will have to be honest and then I will see if I can stomach it or not. I will probably puke many times in the process (I think you can imagine why). Still, I'm the type of person who prefers not to think so negative of a person because I always feel that deep down, everybody has a good side and we should give them a chance, just like sometimes I also need a few chances to right my wrongs.

I am not an angel. I am not God. I am only human. I feel, I love, I hurt. I'm loyal, I'm honest, I'm faithful. It's just either the other person appreciates me enough or not. 

However, this whole Tiger Woods' and Jesse James' stunts seemed like a norm in the Western part of the world. Let's not make it our lifestyle too. We're from the East. We have our different culture and different ways of being brought up. We have our religions. Hold on to that. Hold on to what we are and always will be.

11 comments:

Bluecrystaldude said...

I will:

1. Try my best to forget her. Do not call her/text her. Block her Facebook account and trying not have anything related to her anymore. I know it's hard, but I have to move on with my life

2. I will stay single for a while because although single is a little bit lonely at times, my heart won't be broken again. Well, until it opens up again by somebody else.

Forgive and forget? I will always be that kind of person too. It's nothing wrong with that. You can always be forgiver, but it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You just have to put yourself first before others. Sigh. Life is hard dear :(

Razz Momma said...

if it was me, lets see

i would probably do A, B and E. not necessarily in that order. lol!

there are men (or women) who never can be loyal.. maybe its how they're raised. maybe its in their genes.. theyre smooth talkers and they make u melt and fall to ur knees but they're just a bunch of scums honey.. there are many of these species out there so be careful.. coz we know who u really are.. we know how kind u are.. we know u can forgive when u love someone.. don't let that person take advantage of u :* :*

Razz Momma said...

oh, n who is this 4 o'clock in the morning admirer? ehehehe :-P im coming to malaysia in a week! lets go have fun sweet pea! :* :-D

LV said...

the stabbing with a fork seems like an appealing option. i would like to stab him with a spoon tho. its dull so it'll hurt more. lol lol lol :-D :-D :-D

if he's an asshole and he had cheated on me from the beginning then he deserves a big X... kick him out. cheaters will always be cheaters.. they only know how to fuck around.. so let him screw all the other girls and let them burn him down..

if this ever happen to me or razz or you, we shall survive! ooooh yeah! :*

LV said...

i wanna join too!

Conny said...

I really like this topic! I was once in that situation, too, but at the end I was wrong and he was upset because I didn't tust him. But then again I asked myself: what IF he'd done it really? What if I would've been right? What would I've done?

Honestly, you actually only can choose option D.
A relationship (more or less, you may know what I mean haha) is always like a game: you have to stay interesting for the other one. And you're only interesting when he actually sees that you are popular for the other gender. Then he knows that he has to pay attention, has to keep an eye on you so that you stay by his side. By that way, you get the attention you actually want from your partner: you feel in demand.

So when your partner actually would betray you, you propably aren't interesting anymore for him, because you give him all your love and everything he wants without him having to do anything for you. That's too easy! And uninteresting for him - so he chooses an other person who'd be more interesting and challenging.

If you really want to be loved, you have to stay interesting. And if you really want to be loved, you may not give too much love to the other one. Two very important things which I've learned with my first BF in the past 8 months. *sigh* :p

Bella Enveeus said...

I don't know why I can't choose D.. It's just not my personality.. I know there are girls out there who can do it, but my type of person is just once I'm fixed on one, I'm fixed one one only.. It's a little boring being monogamous but it doesn't give me headaches.. I know being interesting will captivate guys, so maybe I should spice some stuffs up a bit to get things going.. Hmmm...

Now that you mentioned it, I have some juicy ideas in store.. :-P

Bella Enveeus said...

I'm a Survivor! Oh yeah!

Stab him with a spoon coz it's dull? HAHAHAHA! I cannot believe you said that! :-D Hmmm.. Good piece of advice..

Bella Enveeus said...

Dey I told you la... Shhhhhh... Lips sealed! =-X =-X =-X

Bella Enveeus said...

I will be extra careful.. I know, there are many of those types out there. The "users" who acts like they're the "givers" when they're actually nothing but "freeloaders".. I'll be careful. I know you're gonna be stabbing him with a fork first.. HAHA!c :-D :-D :-D :-D

Bella Enveeus said...

Actually your method is the best.. Block the person out entirely and then stay single for a while.. Being single for a while will let you heal and then when you're ready, get back in the game.. Coz if not stay single for a while, you'll be on a rebound and that's not fair to the other person.. And then if not block the ex, we can start reminiscing good times and then forget the bad times and eventually be sucked back into the emotional whirlpool and not realizing that we're in that blackhole again.. Pain in the heart all over again..

Yeah, life is hard.. It's harder than when I used to imagine back in the good younger days.. :(

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