August 05, 2010

Question of The Day #1 Aug | When You Hesitate

So I posted this on twitter a few hours ago - "When a guy does not want to explain the new girl names in his phone, it's either he have a short term memory loss or he's a big lying A-hole!" 

Excuse the typos in twitter. I had to save some space. LOL!

Now here is my Question : What does it mean when you ask a normal basic question to a guy and then he reacted by turning into an angry Hulk, or better yet, he acts hurt as if you just accused him of doing something very bad.

Could it be that he's ----?

A. Guilty as charged. Deep down inside he feels guilty that he is actually lying to your face and because he has a conflict of interest / feelings at war in him, he had to divert himself (and you!) from it by acting hurt and try to get your thoughts away from the topic at hand.
B. He's innocent. Completely innocent. And having you question him hurt his tender sensibilities and so he show how hurt he is by pulling a face or turn his back on you and shed a little man-tear alone at the corner.
C. It's all a big drama. The names in the phone is just for drama purposes because he wants to boost his ego by showing off to his friends that he have a long list of girls aftering him but it's not like he's calling these girls anyway. Surely he have more things to do with his phone credit / bills than trying to sweet-talk everybody with tits.
D. It's in the genes. A study shows that 85% of men takes after their fathers or close male relatives in the family. So if there's a cheater or a liar or a story maker in the family, then be aware because he could be just one of those!

Let's say the scenario happens to you girls, what would you do? Would you just ----?

A. Pull a longer face. If he thinks he can act, then he should not act with an Oscar winner like yourself. He wants drama? You certainly can be more dramatic!
B. Trust him. Believe in him. He swore in the name of God and Zeus and every godly entity on the planet that he is not like that. He is not cheating on you. If he is, Zeus will smite his ass with a mighty lightning. Those names are nothing. They are meaningless. They're just there to fill his phonebook so that he doesn't look like a loser.
C. Save the phone numbers. Then call each one and ask them if they know this guy (insert name) and what are their relations with him. Once you get the details, write it on a piece of paper (or papers). Better still, type it in BOLD. Then, start a fire at his house with those papers.
D. Oh come on. Two can play the game. If this is a one big game for him, then you can do it too. Plus, you're a woman. You can do it BETTER. Does he think you need to sell yourself like he does to get more phone numbers? You know when you give that smile that had always been your secret weapon, men will come and ask for your phone number in no time. Before you know it, they'll be sending flowers, candies, expensive gifts and you get to bask in all the attention. Him? He gets to waste his money on phone bills and maybe catch an STD or two.

Is it wrong to be extra cautious once you've been burned? Trust is built with honesty. But when hesitation comes into the picture, that's when an old wound can open up and revenge will become bittersweet.


Conny said...

Good topic! :)
Just had a simillar situation some weeks ago. My BF was calling and texting a girl and it was really suspicious, especially because he went out of the room when he was talking with her and closed the door to the bedroom.
He even met her and was clubbing with her, but did tell me, that he was visiting his parents. F*** off I thought.

Then, after MONTHS, I finally told him that I knew that he was meeting up with her and he was cheating me. And at the end he said she was only a friend and I shouldn't start to think something like that and instead of making any wrong assumptions I should just ASK him if anything would be wrong. Then he went into detail, how he became friends with her and what her occupation is, her problems etc.

I'd say I would wait, keep an eye on the situation and when you really think there's something going on - just ask.

lina said...

Never really bothered to check whose names in my hubby's phone. Not that I trust him or anything but because unfortunately I'm the type to react as in scenario D. You did it? Hmph! I can do better!

Che Armster said...

I saw that tweet!!!

As much as I want to deny it.. As a guy I might fall into cat A with occasional B I think..

not sure about what I'd do if I'm a girl though

LV said...

most of the time when a guy turn into hulk when u ask about girl names in their phone is because of option A.. they're lying so they just resort to the next thing they can, trying to get your attention away from the subject... the smarter men they're gonna start acting hurt and down and blame you for screwing their day because you ask that question and at the same time make the girl feel guilty... smart men are more dangerous

LV said...

oh n if im in that situation, i would pick both C and D. i wud do D 1st, make him jealous and bite his feet then i'll move on to C before i dump him.. i wont exactly burn down his house.. just his clothes is fine for me - that is if its true he's cheating with ALL those girls.. :-P :-P :-P

im mean ryte? :-D

Razz Momma said...

must b A.. most of the time is A...

i handle lots of divorce cases that stems from this type of behavior.. the guy's side is "A"... only once in donkey years its "B".. actually the reasons in options "C" n "D" pops out more than "B".. there r more unfaithful men nowadays compared to faithful ones hon.. u think i trust my hubby 100%? hah!!

Razz Momma said...

as a woman, i would opt for option 'D".. y? coz i can play the game better.. do NOT play this type of game with a lawyer, seriously.. men r gonna get their ass kicked.. of course its not wrong to be cautious.. if the man had burned u once, then the more reason to b so.. if he's willing to change, he wud prove it

Razz Momma said...

p/s: if he doesnt change, kick him out n make sure he lands on his ass! :-D :-D :-D :-D

Serena said...

i think reason A

but sometimes it mght just be at the wrong time or they having their PMS and they dont want to answer the quesiton.. try asking some other day and see if he wud answer or not.. if still he wont then he's definitely lying!

Bella Enveeus said...

Well, let's just say he is like that all the time. When this subject arise, he would act hurt and change and say "let's not go down that road" or something equally evasive and then try to get the attention back to you as if you also had done the same mistake and you should be punished first before him. 

So, either he is an asshole just like his ancestry that he so hates or its in his blood, he's a low-life

Bella Enveeus said...

Kick him with "heels" eh? LOL!!

Bella Enveeus said...

To EVERY woman out there - let's not cry out eyes or hearts out..

Once your man does something like this, let's do what Vivian from Pretty Woman does - "Use him for sex" and then behave like he's nothing but an instrument. Then play him at his own game too. He's got girls in his phone. You've got guys in your phone. He asks the girls out and have to fork out money for them? You go out with guys and let them fork out cash for you. 

At the end of the day, he becomes poor and the sex with all the other girls are just the same while you get a variety of EVERYTHING!! :-D   :-D   :-D

P/S: I love it when I have a lawyer friend..

Bella Enveeus said...

"Don't ever trust a man 100%. Even if he's your hubby. Why? Coz he's got a dick and the dick is dangerous".. LOL! 

You're so funny honey. I had to write what you said down just in case one day I forget it. LOL!

Bella Enveeus said...

Hmmm.. I don't think I would take the trouble of wasting my credit to call those girls. Whatever for? But play him at his own game seems like a more sensible act for me. Esp if he knows before him, guys comes to me easily. Let him speculate. In the mean time, I would enjoy myself, just like how he did behind my back. Right?

Bella Enveeus said...

Yup correct. Smarter men knows how to swindle smarter. HAHA! They're like those snakes you see. They slither here and there but not to the specific point. *psst You get what I mean right? :-P

Bella Enveeus said...

See.. A guy confirming what the girls say it might be. Thank you! :-P

Bella Enveeus said...

LOL!! But some girls will feel guilty to play the same game. Maybe coz it's not in their nature. As for myself, it is not in my nature, but revenge is a funny thing right? :-D  Esp if you know all the dirty details..

Bella Enveeus said...

At least he explains and went into details - although a little later which have already aroused suspicion in the first place but then he neutralize it all by being honest.

However, if the man is always like that when topics of the girl names in his phone arise and he is already caught cheating before, of course it is highly suspicious right? And then he tries to change the topic by pointing out the guy names in your phone but even after you've explained your situation because you're honest, he still will not explain his. So, how can one not think he is lying then, right? And having him behave like a child, averting attention when it's obvious he has some explanation to do shows that he is GUILTY up to a certain degree. But how guilty? Now that's a question..

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