August 18, 2010

What's wrong with our men today?



I know modern day people say that chivalry is dead. But my romantic heart refuse to believe it sometimes. What's wrong with having guys opening the restaurant or car door for a girl? What's wrong with having guys pick up the tab or have him hand over his jacket to you in the cold night? I'm sure there are many independent women out there. I'm an independent woman myself. But being pampered once in a while does not hurt either.


However, this is not what I'm going to explore right now. What I would like to write has nothing to do with guys opening doors for girls.

These past few months, there's like a trend that babies are dumped everywhere in every state. 

Then now it's like another trend where husbands turn mad and get violent on their wives and children. 

What could be the matter? Has the stress level of men today doubled compared to our fathers? Is there something wrong with the food - too much hormones maybe? Have the bridge we make with our neighbours and friends of the world changed our old values and negatively influenced us into becoming The Hulk? Or could it be, that we just didn't want to state the obvious - all these are signs that we're at the end of the world and we're going to DIE soon!

Less than a week ago the nation was surprised with a news in Terengganu of a man (also a drug addict) who splashed acid on his former wife, daughter and two other family members because his ex-wife wouldn't give him RM30 that he wanted from her. 30 Ringgit! His daughter, an 8-year old was badly scarred and is said might be blind for the rest of her life as a result to his actions. 

Che Ku Zaimah (left) and 8-year old Nurul Dahyatul Fazlinda

And then two days ago there was another news about a husband who slashed his wife and her male cousin out of jealousy after seeing her chatting with her cousin at their home. Talk about a rude welcome! There they were, innocently talking and the husband who came home early just went a grabbed a knife in the kitchen and start slashing his wife's face, hands and body. And when he saw his wife was trying to shield her cousin from harm, he went and slashed the man too before leaving the house and the two people lying in their pool of blood.

What could've been in his mind then? I mean, even if what he imagined was true, if maybe his wife was cheating on him, why the need to resort to violence? Why not just divorce the woman and not leave her a cent! Isn't that type of revenge better than having yourself being locked up in jail instead? 

Last night I was chatting with one of my best friends and we were talking about the social issues going on in this world when I said something like, "I'm sure some crazy news is going to come out in the papers tomorrow."

Turns out I was right. At the front page of a Malay paper today is a news of a husband who, after being in a quarrel with his wife, got so enraged when she increased the TV volume that he started kicking his 6-month pregnant wife and then stepping on her belly many times as she lay on the floor. Then when he's done, he can just walk out of the house and leave her in pain where she had to endure it by herself and ask help from neighbours to get to the hospital.

I wonder how these men could treat their wives in this animal-like way? These women are the people they claimed they love enough to offer marriage to and then they can just kick, beat and burn them? How can these men live with themselves? Acting like a brute will not make a man anything else but a brute. What is wrong with these people? Have women been trying to call for equality for so long that men forget we are still the weaker sex? Have the wires in the brains of today's men gone awry or something? Is it just chivalry that's dead or respect altogether?

It's scary and sad too. All these things and experiences I see other people go through sometimes make me fear to even think of "marriage". *Sigh*

♥♥♪♫¸.·´¯`·.¸♡♥♥ First Commenter ♥♥♪♫¸.·´¯`·.¸♡♥♥

19 comments:

Mariuca said...

>:o >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o

Mariuca said...

Me too seriously angry with the freakazoid la, wtf and in bulan puasa some more and helllloooo just cause of RM30... crazinesss!!!!!!!!! >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o

Mariuca said...

I kesian the kids OMG, dah la so kecik tak tahu apa2,grrrrrrrrrrrr :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Mariuca said...

when u gonna add tweetmeme button here? :)

elmo blurb blurb said...

hey we have the same thaught i guess.
rasa macam takut je nak kawen.
soo we have to know him better before get into marriage.
~~

Campari said...

men now are dead beat..

lina said...

ramai sangat chauvinistic men yg masih anggap we women as second class citizen. that's why *DONT_KNOW*

jantan macam tu memang macam menanggung biawak hidup tu! >:o

Bella Enveeus said...

Ingatkan the people in the Middle East yg masih berfikiran mcm tu.. Rupanya kat tempat sendiri pun ramai je orang yang masih tak sedar diri.. But yang tak sedar diri and aniaya wanita sampai tak senonoh mcm ni bknnya yang successful punya men.. Yang bongok takde hasil patut dah lama gol tu yang buat.. Ni mesti sebab masa kecik2 org pergi sekolah belajar tapi dia pergi isap rokok belakang toilet!  >:o >:o >:o

Bella Enveeus said...

Sad to say, most of them are.. Like maybe only 75% of the whole population are good. The others are big giant A-holes! 

Bella Enveeus said...

Sometimes you think you know somebody in and out but you don't.. The only way to really know somebody is only when you live with them, but then we can't live with somebody until we marry them and then that's when everything unravels.. Sad, but it's reality.. People can cover up their tracks very well.. 

Bella Enveeus said...

Errr must I add ke? Hehe.. I thot I dah put the "Sharing is Sexy" button cukup la kot.. :-P

Bella Enveeus said...

Memang.. yang babies kena buang satu, yang mak bapak gaduh sampai anak pun kena lagi satu.. These kids are going to grow up tormented by the memories, probably traumatized by the experience for years.. Then they're gonna bring their scars into their future family and kids and this whole cycle will not end. All because the scums who fathered them are morons! 

Bella Enveeus said...

Drugs do that.. Sad.. Crazy Muthafarkers..  >:o >:o >:o

Amina said...

Hello there!I stayed in Malaysia for 6 years, but the violence on Malaysian women is not as severe as what Pakistani women are experiencing.Please drop by on my blog, I have several post about it.Terima kasih!

Bella Enveeus said...

A few years ago it wasn't so bad but lately there's so many of this news. And news of baby dumps are splashed across the newspaper almost everyday. I know the amount of such cases is not as many as what's going on in the middle east or in Pakistan but it's sad to see my own people doing this - at a time when we should be improving and getting out of this kind of mindset!   :'(

Razz Momma said...

wow.. sad news.. looks like its getting worst there.. read some of the online news.. stay safe babydoll.. make sure u pick the right guy.. if he ever lift a finger on u, show him the door - but not before u smack his ass with a lawsuit!

LadyJava said...

it's just ego i think Bella.. men nowadays have to much ego and they feel threatened by women nowadays so they feel that they need to dominate whatever woman is there in their household.. it is really sad but that that is the reality I think..

Chilvary is dead only for people who lack social graces who are uncouth.. org hutan i think.. i mean it's only common sense to hold the door open for the person walking behind you.. for goodness sake.. i hold door for total strangers.. even men sometimes..

LadyJava said...

oh sometimes it's upbringing too i think.. some parents are inconsiderate so they pass that trait to their kids.. sad definitely but that is what the world have come up too... :(

Bella Enveeus said...

Ya it's true what you said. Which is why, this fear feeling sometimes creeps up on me when I think about my own future and if one day I would marry and have kids. You know, people change. At the beginning they can seem totally perfect but after few years, that's when everything unravel and it seems that they're the worst candidate ever. And that's when so many problems arise.. :(  

And you know la in Malaysia, even if there is proof of a black eye or bruises on the wife's body (because of the husband), bukan senang want to get divorce. Asyik2 kena pergi counselling. And then the wife and the children still have to live with the man, still kena pukul, sampai dah stage teruk then only something will be done. Sad, but our Syariah system pun sebenarnya kena ubah, step in at an early stage and not allow the men of this country to "besar kepala"..

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