Silent Tears

One of my best friends contacted me last night in urgency. She was one of the very few friends I trust with my life whom also in the many years we've been friends, had always defended me and been completely loyal to me. She told me one thing last night - she was afraid she's going to die.

I was surprised. I know that even though we had been closer than sisters back in high school, we had sort of drifted apart after she got married and I pursued my studies. Few years ago, I wasn't fully supportive of her decision to marry at the age of 20. She still haven't finish her Diploma and knowing that her future husband did not allow her to continue towards getting a Degree or work, does not help make me see him in a nice light. Still, I was happy for her and when she got her first daughter, I was ecstatic. I was the Godmother to her little daughter and when the second daughter arrived, I couldn't be much happier.

I thought, there she was, happy with her decision, with a husband who loves her, daughters who listens to her whereas myself, sometimes trying to reach for too high and crushed when I couldn't get what I aimed for. When she had a family and happy, I was still alone, sometimes heartbroken while sometimes I manage to smile but most of the time, I felt what I always do - ALONE.

But when she called me yesterday and told me she never felt so alone like she did at the moment, I was shocked. It couldn't be so bad, I thought. My best friend, the tough one shouldn't be crying her eyes out like this. What could be the problem?

Chronic urticaria was what her doctor first thought she had but after a year of prescribed Cetirizine, she still have the allergies and when they did a blood test last month, her doctor suspected she have Hepatitis C. She was weirded out because she have not done anything that might make her contract Hepatitis C. She's worried that for not knowing about it this past year might cost her life and having to wait for two months for confirmation of the recent blood test did not help one bit. So she called me, knowing me and my Medicine background to ask me more on other possible medications, the severity of Hepatitis C and the success of liver transplant.

I didn't like it one bit that she started talking about death. It saddens me when she questions how her little girls is going to cope without her. It makes me quiver when she says she loves me. After all these years she still say the same thing, "If I was a guy, I would've married you in a heart beat." So even though I didn't cry when I spoke to her, even though I was firm and I encouraged her to get out of the dark clouds, in my heart I cried. I cried these silent tears.

Have you ever lost a best friend? I cannot imagine losing one. No, not now. Not ever!

♥♥♪♫¸.·´¯`·.¸♡♥♥ First Commenter ♥♥♪♫¸.·´¯`·.¸♡♥♥

HAMZAH

Fun time going out with the GIRLS!!

Can you guess which one is me? 
If you know the answer, don't share here. LOL!

One of my girlfriends arrived in KL a few weeks ago from Sabah. I have not seen her for nearly FOUR years. Yup, it was that long. I missed being out with the girls, it had always been fun back in the college days. Those were the days I kinda let loose compared to now. I can still remember the devilish things we did back then, and not to mention, the guys. Wow.. I feel old now. LOL!

Last week was the first time we went out together. All three of us girls went out to RedBox The Gardens for a karaoke session. Somebody commented if I was into Japanese culture (coz of the karaoke) but it's nothing like that at all. It was just that we wanted to unwind and maybe inject some fun in the picture. Plus, as kiasu as this may sound, I have never been into any of the RedBox outlets before. LOL! So there we were, on the 17th of June, having our karaoke session from 2pm to 6pm. We sang a great deal, or actually it's more that Anne sang, rapped, screamed and yelled a great deal. Zety preferred to sing Lady Gaga's song a few times and I went reminiscing some old songs dated 5 to 10 years ago. Like they said, "oldies but goodies."

Then yesterday, the girls and I went out again - this time accompanied by one boy. Maybe we should've dressed Daryll up in a maxi like Zety and impersonate the Sex and The City cast. LOL! All four of us met at MidValley Megamall for the 3pm show of Sex and The City 2 because I can't seem to stop talking about Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and the juicy guys - Aidan and Smith Jerrod (which probably kinda drove Zety off the wall. LOL!). I love Aidan. I loved Aidan since he first came up into the SATC series with that gorgeous chair. I was angry with Carrie for cheating on Aidan with Big. That was tacky. And when Aidan came back into Carrie's life the second time, I really hoped she was going to marry him. But then again, SATC wouldn't be SATC without the perfect ending to the love story between Carrie and Big.

When the movie SATC 1 came out and there was no Aidan, I was disappointed. I was further disappointed when Samantha separated from Smith Jerrod. He was like so perfect for her. And how he understood her and still accepted her - crazy character and all. I loved Smith since the time he waited for Samantha at the club as she followed Richard to his suite for a quickie. Can you find that kind of man these days? Maybe it'll happen the other way around.

Damn. Here I am, start talking about SATC as if they're not some kind of fictional characters. LOL!

Although the movie SATC 2 is not as good as SATC 1 because the drama was lesser and a little mundane, the clothes, the jewelries and OMG, the shoes are just enough to drive me into a frenzy. One word - GORGEOUS! I'm planning if I can pull off one of those looks one of these days. I just need to get the right harem pants and maybe work out to kick in some volume in these backside. LOL! LOL! LOL!