February 28, 2010

Cheater. Cheater. It's so bitter.

I was doing my regular email checkups when I clicked on a link that directed me to a blog ranting about her cheating boyfriend. She was completely mortified that her boyfriend is willing to cheat with her own best friend and have the cheek to say that it didn't mean anything. She could not understand the moral values of her boyfriend and why men would think with their balls instead of their brains. So there she was ranting, cursing and wishing the end of the world for her boyfriend yet she did not touch one thing about herself or the partner-in-crime to this cheating drama ; her own best friend.

The other day, I was watching a re-run of Oprah on Hallmark and they were talking about cheating men. The invited guest was a man who deals with men and their issues.

So, my conclusion after watching the show was to strengthen my initial perception already. Women are basically the reason men cheats. Women. Obviously I am a woman but I am not going to back up my fellow females in this matter. Of course there are two sides of a story. Sometimes three, four or infinite sides to a story. But I think I'll talk about a few only...
  • When a man and a woman get caught in an affair and somebody cheats, we first and fore-mostly will look at the guy and blame him. Why in heaven's name can't he keep his willy in his pants? What is so good about all this "extra" carnal act? Don't they feel remorse for cheating behind their partner's back? Now take this into consideration :
  1. Yes, when it comes to the opposite sex, men usually tend to throw their technicality and logic and think with their penis. Especially if the devil looks like Angelina Jolie with 38 25 36 stats. Their brains will fall from their skulls to their scrotum in less than half a second. But so what? It's in their nature. How many studies have shown that men think of sex 3/4 times more than women in a day? Some studies shows that men think of sex every 10 minutes. But does that mean they get the act done each time they think it? If they do then maybe they should buddy up with Tiger Woods and go into rehab too. Plus, it takes two to tango. And just thinking of sex is like doing the robot dance to a Mozart concerto piece.

  • Men cheats with women who are willing to cheat with them.
  1. If there's no cheap women on the planet who can easily fall into a man's embrace (or bed) without him having to spend his time, money and resources on you, then how can we blame men for getting it in, off and out easily? When a man cheat with you and you get caught, you cry and say that you never intended to hurt his partner, you were caught up in the game or his charms or whatever. Now, aren't you cheap sistah? I don't understand how women can still cheat with a man when they already know he's with someone. So maybe he's all that you ever dreamed off in a man but have you ever thought that maybe he's also the man of his wife's dreams and that's why they're married? It's just too bad you found him too late.
  2. Example : There's a very good piece of veal in the market and it is put on display at dawn for sale. Person A woke up early, wash up, went to the market, saw the veal and earned it to buy the good piece. Person B woke up at noon, lazily wash face, went to the market, saw Person A already carrying the good piece and suddenly went to Person A, punch Person A in the belly and steal the veal. Person A = Angel. Person B = Bloody Bitch.
  3. For women like me though, someone who have found the perfect man but also knows that if I can fall for his characteristics then there would be other women out there who could also find his character appealing, what should I do? Are we safe? There are many psychotic women nowadays who don't mind stealing a man even though he's married or with kids just so that she can enjoy the benefits of being his wife. And there are cases too (which sad to say) happens within the modern Malay society who still practices creepy voodoo and hocus pocus just so that they can get what they want. And I'm not making this up. It happened to me. The question is, why? If it's not meant for you then why not just move on and find someone else?

  • A man loves it when the woman he's with remembers the three things that makes him a man. Call it ego, call it nature but a man need that to feel complete. So their woman should never look down on them on these three things : who he is, what he does and how much he makes.
  1. I know women are as successful as men nowadays, if not better, but that does not mean we can boast our success to everybody including our husbands. You can boast to your school friends, your colleagues, your family, your relatives but draw the line somewhere with your husband. Even if he makes lesser than you, he'd like very much to know that he's the "man". Even if everybody else knows you're the more successful but the male instinct is also sensitive and needs to be cushioned once a while. When their own wives fail to do that, that's when they start finding "comfort" somewhere else. A place where he don't have to care for the woman as a wife but enjoy the wifely benefits - the care, the respect and most of all the throne.

  • Prevention is better than cure. They say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" right? So why not care for yourself, not just so that you won't visit the doctor's office but also so that your man don't go running to some other well-maintained woman.
  1. Women, especially those who have been married for more than 5 years tend to forget one of the reasons their husbands married them. I'm not saying that physical is the top reason as to why the man married you. If he does than he's a shallow idiot and you're better off without him. However, it does not hurt if you care for yourself, your skin, your figure just the way he likes it. Make him remember what is it that made him fall in love with you in the first place. People always say first impression says it all and usually the physical is the first point of decision-making. No, you don't have to get Botox to retain your youth but care for yourself and your health. If he can carry you to the bedroom on your wedding night then try to maintain that so that he can still carry you after 30 years of marriage.

Alright, alright, I'm not saying I'm a marriage counselor. But this is just logic. The technicalities may differ slightly for different individuals but the fact of the matter is, we are all humans and born with similar instincts and ideals. Every day is a learning process. So women, learn about your men! Don't take things easy. Because you certainly do not want to cry over spilled milk.

P/S : This does not mean that men should not be blamed. If affairs ever happen, it's also because men could not avoid temptation. If the zipper is the only thing that's stopping you from having that affair and you don't think you can trust yourself, go get a chastity belt!


Razz Momma said...

yeah u got that right. men won't cheat if there's no women who would cheat with them. there are cheap women out there i can assure u, i've come across more than a handful.. u gotta watch out for ur man.. not coz u don't trust him but coz u don't trust the women out there..

p/s:make sure u have a racket to swat them off court if they get too close! :-P

JustPassingBy said...

I have to say, this attitude of entirely blaming the women bothers me. It maybe due to where you are coming from and your culture, but I think it's one of the reasons why men cheat. Because people like you justify it !

Who said men think of sex more than women ?! , Google it and you may find the same study that I found that says that women thinks of sex the same times as men, they just don't act upon it, most of the times...

And one last thing, No woman steals any Man. A man is willingly got stolen. I think this "stealing" idea is something women invented to save their dignity and pretend that it was inevitable, they couldn't have done anything to prevent it.

Wishing you a happy marriage life.

Bella Enveeus said...

LOL.. Racket huh? At least I have someone agreeing with me. Oh wait, but you're a Malaysian. Although you're not a Malay but you did live in Malaysia for a while before migrating to America. So you must know how it is in Malaysia in comparison to America. Now you know the best of both worlds. Tell me, why do you agree with me on this? Maybe it's true... There are cheap women. And clueless cheap women. :-D

Bella Enveeus said...

Did I just stab you with a fork and called you a cunt or something? LOL! Why do you have to focus on just one of the points? You know, if you read carefully, I did say that all this does not mean that men are entirely blameless. Yeah, it takes TWO to TANGO. So of course, if the men is as OPEN to the idea of cheating and having a woman prancing along giving him the option to cheat with her, not many man have the strength to turn down such offer. Again, read carefully. NOT MANY. I didn't say ALL are weak but some men are.

And yes, you're right.. If you read between the lines CAREFULLY (again), I said that the number of something like this happening in the modern "Malay" society is increasing so if you're not a Malay then yes, I am talking about where I come from and my culture. Mine, not yours. But you're wrong on one thing, I do not justify something like this. I don't think any women from any culture justifies such a thing. I don't know if you're a man or a woman though - if only you'd be more sincere and LOG IN to this comment section with a REAL profile, my reply could've been more precise..

Oh yes, if I Google a study made in America maybe I'll find that women thinks of sex the same times as men.. But one last time, let me point out that I am NOT from wherever you're probably from and I am writing about the majority of my own people so NO, studies on my race shows that they don't think of sex as many times as their Western counterparts.

If you wanna say I justify something as this, read between the lines, AGAIN! And then double-check it. Alright? And I will have a happy marriage life. Thank you.

LV said...

i had some colleagues who were willing to be the third person in a relationship because they thought the man was great and they want the man for themselves. a few made it and lead a happy life while a few ended halfway. tho i dont think everything is about sex. sometimes the woman in the man's life changed, he's unhappy and find friendship with another woman which later turns out into love. i know during the "friendship" period, it wasn't just platonic and because of that both the man and the female friend is wrong, but there's always another side of the story..

hey, maybe you should make part 2 of this topic. ;)

men are as much to blame as women when cheating is concerned. say yes to the chastity belt! lol :-D

LV said...

hm.. i think you misunderstood what bella is trying to say here.. i dont think she's blaming the women entirely. it's just what's going on around her and the things she sees that makes her write that. maybe you live somewhere where the are no sluts. good for you.

Bella Enveeus said...

Hmm.. There are many ways to define "cheat". I focus on the physical part. But there are other ways to cheat too. Yeah, there's always other sides to a story so when somebody cheat, I think best way is to discuss how or what made it happen. :-P You know where to find such belt?

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